I was talking to a sweet friend yesterday and I was telling her about the whirl wind experience that was Rock n Roll Seattle and she just stopped me dead in the middle of my sentence to say "isn't God just so sweet that He wants you so desperately for you to be happy, that He will give you these little things like running just to see you smile?"
I love that! God gives us little things everyday to see us smile and to see His goodness (which is a lot about what I will be talking about on Thursdays, I just couldn't wait!)
I love serving the sweet, among a lot more things, God.
Yay! I am so excited to be starting a new series on this blog. Matthew has been teaching me so much the last couple months and it has been good to not have a certain Bible study or book that I am reading or participating in, but simply relying on God's word to speak into my life.
This week I am going to focus on Matthew 5:1-12. I am going to basically retype everything that is in my journal, with some much needed editing. But what you see is basically how I go through my study. This passage has so much that we can all take from it, but while doing the study the first part of the verse "poor in spirit" is what struck me the hardest so that is what I am focusing on. I am not ignoring the rest, just sharing where my heart was on that day. Without anymore rambling here you go!:
What? Blessed are: -The poor in spirit -Those who mourn -The meek -Those who hunger and thirst for righteousness -The merciful -Pure in heart -The peacemakers -Who are persecuted because of their rigtheousness
Because: -Theirs is the kingdom of heaven -They will be comforted -They will inherit the earth -They will be filled -Shown mercy -They will see God -They will be called the children of God
-Be happy and joyful because your reward is heaven, not on this earth.
-You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. -You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. -You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. -You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat. AKA The Holy Spirit -You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for. -You're blessed when you get your mind and heart are right. Then you can see God in the outside world. -You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate. -You're blessed when your commitment to God causes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
If I am not completely poor in spirit and completely relying on Him, I am ultimately going to fail at everything. Seeds of doubt and insecurity will ruin my life. With God as my watering hole I will be filled with confidence and hope that I am the person He has created me to be.
This is so apparent in my role as a wife. Being a "good" wife, let alone an "exceptional" wife is something that has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I fail on a daily basis. The more and more I try the more and more I fail. It is a horrible cycle that has brought me to tears, sometimes daily. When I got married I had visions of being the perfect wife and I have not lived up to my own expectations. But through reading this awesome post and these verses, I have realized that even in 30 years I will still not live up to my own earthly expectations of being a good wife. It is only when I completely empty myself, become poor in spirit and allow God to fill me and take control of my marriage and life, will I be able to see the kind of wife God designed me to be for my Jamaican Sprinter. And that is what I want.
WOW! What a whirl wind! Usually when it comes to races there is a ton of anticipation. I usually don’t sleep very much the week of a race, I eat all weird and usually not a lot of it stays inside me (TMI I KNOW), but this race was different! Ha, 24 hours before the race I didn’t even know I was racing. LOVE IT!
My alarm clock went off early Saturday morning and just like other races I was up before it went off, staring at AA. We were up and out of the house by 5:55am. We joked and chatted on the way to the race and because AA is amazing he knew all the secret back roads so I was at the start with plenty of time. With one last kiss, a couple of “are you sure you don’t want me to walk you to the start line” and me replying with “man I need to find more running friends” I was off by myself. I got in the mile long line for the porta potty and waited and waited and waited. I forgot my watch at home so I was creeping on people’s Garmin’s trying to figure out what time it was. Finally I made the executive decision to step out of line and go find the bloggy girls who were meeting up. I knew this decision might haunt me, I had never run a race before without my PRS (TMI I KNOW!), but it ended up being just fine.
Found corral 6 and sure enough there were Mel, Amanda, Jess and Jill. We chatted took a few pictures and then it was go time. Wave 10 was off and I had a HUGE smile across my face. Within the first half a mile my sock had slipped and was now on the middle of my foot. Sweet. And I realized I shouldn’t have worn my long sleeve. For the first 3 miles I tried to figure out a good way to take it off without having to drop my handheld water bottle (which by the way I LOVE!). So finally at mile three before the mile and half climb I stopped on the side of the road and stripped it off, tied it around my waist and was off again!
Man those hills were tough! But finally we were on the way down to the lake. That big downhill felt GREAT and I was making up time! I love running along the lake, it makes me think of the Danskin Tri. I started to wonder if the soldiers with the American flags were going to be at the race or not. I started to think not, especially when we passed the GU station at mile 7.5. The soldiers were way before that last year. But sure enough we rounded a corner on the way to mile 8 and there they were. I started to realize I couldn’t breathe. I started to freak out, but then it dawned on me, I was trying to cry but the tears just weren’t coming. I got it together, said thank you to the ones who I caught eye contact with and before I knew it we were all climbing towards to I-90 bridge.
I again started to get emotional once the marathoner’s split from us halfers because last year a husband and wife made the climb together and then it was time for the wife to split with the marathoners and the husband to halfers. I was right behind him when he turned to her one last time and told her to kick some butt, that he would see her at the finish and that she was his hero. Oh man oh man I am crying writing that! I will remember that for the rest of my life. We made it out of the tunnel and I was so glad I wasn’t running the full! I knew we only had 3 more miles to go! I made the decision that once we get off the viaduct and have less then .25 miles to go to I was going to run like I stole something. The last 3 miles went by fast, even though the last water stop was run by Starbucks employees and it took everything in me not to ask for a frap! :)
We came off the viaduct and I told my legs “you stole something….RUN RUN RUN!” I tried and then tried again. I could tell my stride had quicken but the cops would have for sure gotten me. :) It just wasn’t as fast as I was hoping. The finish line was so fun, like it always is and AA found me right away. I stopped and chatted with Jill who PR’d and broke 2 hours. WAY TO GO JILL!!! Got some water, my medal, took that dumb picture they make you take, got some food and AA and I were out of there. You know just a quick 13.1 miles, no need to stick around. :)
God was so good during this race. I was reminded that no matter how bad you are hurting emotionally, physically or spiritually that you can always pray for someone else. I started to pray for anyone that God put on my mind during the race and I think that is why it seemed to go by so fast. A lot of my prayers were cut short and a little jumbled because I couldn’t stay focused but I loved that it was a 2 hour and 9 minute convo with my main Man.
Another thing I learned was that I need to be more “loud” with the gospel during runs. So from now on I am going all Tim Tebow in races and putting a Bible verse on my legs that has spoken to me lately. I would have put Mathew 5:1-12 on there yesterday (more on that tomorrow!). I got this idea from two girls that did it yesterday. People were asking them what there verses were and they were basically proclaiming the gospel right there in the middle of the marathon! I LOVE IT! I ran behind them for a while and just started at their calves where the verse was written.
I am so thankful to Heidi and to God for letting me run this yesterday. It was just what the doctor ordered. I now have a better idea of what my training needs to look like for running and what I need to focus in on for what God is teaching me.
Thank you Jesus for yesterday. Lord I pray that as I continue to run that it can bring You glory. I pray You keep me healthy and I pray Lord that Your name will continued to be proclaimed at races. I love You Jesus! Half marathon #8 DONE!
WOW! Here we go. This is an AMAZING 3 thing Friday!
1. So I woke up this morning knowing I had an easy 2.5 mile run to shake out my legs before 14 miles tomorrow. I was a little sad I didn't sign up for Rock N Roll tomorrow, but the budget only always so many races and well I would just have to get over it! But then...a blog I followed knew someone that knew someone that was giving her bib away (she is hurt...boo!). So I emailed her right away begging for her bib. No answer 4 hours later, so I just figured it would be me and Beyonce on my 14 mile run tomorrow. I had to drive by Qwest, Century Link, whatever the heck it's name is, twice today! I was getting some serious runners envy as I saw every leaving with their packets of stuff and the finish line being put up. But I gave it to God, "God if you want me to run tomorrow, make it happen, if not, I'm cool with that." And what the heck do you know? I called my boss to chat with her about some work stuff and then I remembered to ask her if she was running tomorrow. She said no and that she was selling her bib! HOLD THE PHONE! "I WILL BUY YOUR BIB!" I screamed! She then told me no, no she would not let me buy it, but that she was giving it to me as a gift! HOLY GUACAMOLE!!!!!! After a 1001 "are you sure's" it was finalized. I go pick up her bib in an hour! AHHHH!!! I AM SO EXCITED! Half marathon #8 here I come. Slowly I will get to the finish line, but I don't care. I'm excited! Rock n Roll's are the best marathons around!
2. What can top #1? Oh yea I have something! KB reunion tonight! Gosh this day keeps getting better and better! Yup Pig, Rat and Megaruu and coming over for din din. LOVE LOVE LOVE!
3. I think I need to stop doing yoga on Thursdays with my office. I feel broken after every time. This 6'0'' girl is not meant to bend like that. NO NO NO!
Anywho, if you think of it, pray for me! I will have about 2 hours to pray for all of you tomorrow, and I will be! And when I start to get a little out of it, I will look up. Read about looking up here. It is such a good lesson and practice.