I am going to write two things in this post.
The first will be for all audiences. The second will not. If you are grossed out easily, if you believe that bodily fluids are nasty (like I do), if you believe in the statement TMI, and if you want to not think of me any differently then you do now, I beg of you to only read the first part of this. After that just say to yourself "that was a funny and nice post Shelby, see you tomorrow for your next post." Please people, I beg of you! The only reason I am posting said posting is because it is a part of running. A part of running I pray I will NEVER, EVER be a part of. But anywho...more on that later.
First... today I had to run home to grab something at lunch. Right before I flew out the door on the way back to work I saw my lonely Ipod sitting in the desk. I had forgotten to plug it in to charge yesterday, so I figured I better do it now before I forget again. The day before I was pretty mad at said Ipod because said Ipod has horrible earphones. If any amount of moisture gets into the volume control of the headphones the volume either skyrockets to unheard of volume or decreases to where you can't hear anything and the worst part is it stays at that volume! As you can see this can be annoying, because well a) I run in the rain, uhmmm ALL THE TIME (remember the last post, yea the one where I pretty much quit this whole running thing) b) I sweat like a pregnant pig in heat all other times (oh...comparing myself to a pregnant pig, maybe I should try the whole self confidence thing?). Moisture is getting in those earbuds no matter what I do. So of course this happens yesterday, I get mad, throw said Ipod to the ground and finish my run. So today before I plugged said Ipod in I put the earphones in to see if things had dried out and I was able to change the volume and song. As soon as I turn it on I was able to change the volume...SUCCESS! And then, this is where the fun part starts, I checked to see if I could change the song...SUCCESS! But this was no other song I changed to...it was an ultimate dancing, hip shaking song. So what did I do in my slacks, heals and pearls? Turned that bad boy song up and danced around the apartment. I was having so much fun pretending I was Beyonce with flicking my hair and moving from left to right. I only stopped once to make sure the construction workers down below our apartment couldn't see me. After the song I realized I had to get back to work. So I plugged the Ipod in and ran out the door. As I got into my car I got a little sad. But you will have to wait until tomorrow to know why.
Second....THIS IS THE TMI PART OF THE POST! If you are choosing to read this please raise your right hand and repeat after me: "I (say your name) promise to not barf, pass out or think of Shelby as any type of monster, sick nasty loneytunes person. I hear by give myself full permission to read this and not blame Shelby for any nasty thoughts that might come my way after reading this. I promise to not judge runners or look at them any different when I see them running on the side of the road, by themselves. Amen." Okay maybe we didn't need an Amen at the end, but it is me after all. Good, now that we have all this legalistic stuff our of the way I am going to proceed to post something from a running blog I follow. She is 6'0'' tall (like ME!), played bball for the Zags and is a mother of two (not like me!). On her first marathon this is what she experienced:
"I had always heard of people wetting themselves during a race. After my experience at my half marathon where I had to pee the last 3 miles, I could understand it is horrible holding it in. My bladder is not good for races.Weak Mommy bladder + being hydrated + long potty lines+ impatience= YUCK!! I saw my pace group fade into the distance about 200 yards away, I wanted to catch up but I hurt. We got into the tunnel after 1-90, it was dimly lit and I decided to pee, just a little. In hindsight, first I should have gone a second time before I started the race and second I should have just dropped my pants and squatted. Instead the urine started to flow and flow...everything I drank for the past 3 days came out. My spandex, legs and socks were soaked. At that point I was HUMILIATED and totally lost it mentally. This was the worst case scenario, I am sure I was not alone in the accident department, but REALLY??? WHY?? Training for 16+++ weeks in the snow, rain, heat, with stomach aches, time away from my family and friends and my race was ruined because I WET MY PANTS. CURSES!!! UGH!!! So I kept running, wet."
WHAT!??????? The only thing I have to say about that is this:
Lord, thank You for the ability to run, thank You for the people who support me and who want to see me do well. Lord, there is one thing I ask of you, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Jesus let this never happen to me. Please Jesus I will never complain about being cold or hurt or sick again. Please Jesus! I love you Jesus!