I just texted my Jamaican sprinter: "Can you bring Advil?"
Let's back up shall we? This morning at o dark hundred hours, literally, I was off for the longest run I had ever done, 14 miles. As I took off, I knew I had to run at least decent, I had to be somewhere this morning and couldn't be late. "Hi I was late because my jiggly butt couldn't run any faster" wasn't going to cut it. So I ran and I thought to myself, in less then 2 hours and 15 minutes I will be home in the shower, I hope. This was a run I knew I had to do, just for the sheer fact of knowing I could run more then 13 miles.
At mile 7 I saw a clock in a business I was running by, 8:07am. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I was running so slow the grandma next to me could have passed me. How could this happen? I didn't think I was running that bad. I knew if I didn't step it up I wouldn't be able to make my time cutoff and I would have to stop early. What could be worse then that? Hi I just ran 12.5 miles and I just didn't have time to run any further. Ugh! This was not happening, I thought. Then, as if God heard my frustration, at mile 7.75 I saw a bank clock, 8:04am. "Wait, what? What time was it? Ah, I am so confused." Nothing is worst then being completely dead to the world tired and being confused. You have no brain power to be able to reason and figure out what time it actually is. To my happiness on a downhill stretch I figured out it was actually 8:04am. Thank you Jesus! At mile 8 I saw A with water, I was feeling horrible. Sick to my stomach and slow, so slow. When he asked how I was doing, this disgusting noise came out of my mouth, "Ahhhh ewwww, nrothfuierebfd, horrible." I am sure it took AA everything in him to a) not laugh and b) slap me in the butt like a cow and tell me to "keep moving slacker!" Let me just say I love him, because he chose not to do either of those.
At mile 11 A found me again, I got some water, and I tried to figure out how I was going to wrap my brain around running three more miles. But you know the great part, I didn't have to. Sing it with me.... "just keep running, just keep running." A would tell me when to turn around and when I could stop. Thank goodness because I did not have one brain cell left to figure out anything other then right foot, left foot, repeat.
At mile 13 I was going to check my watch to see my time, to see if I had run a half marathon in less then 2 hours, something I had never done before. But then I remembered, a half marathon was 13.1 miles. So I watched my watch for .1 miles, hoping that if a dog, person or small child was coming right for me, my Jamaican sprinter would help out. At 13.1 miles I looked at the time....1 hour 59 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried to tell A and I think I did, but to tell you the truth I have no idea what came out of my mouth, because the guy walking the opposite direction from me gave me the worst look once I got done mumbling whatever I did.
Then with 1 mile to go I realized that I had done it. Something that I had told so many I could never do. After that 1 miles, I had ran 14 miles. I know I will still need to run 12 MORE miles for the full marathon, but small victories people, small victories.
Do you want to know something so funny? No, well fine go away! But for those of you that do, I can clearly remember when I finished my first 4 miles. I had never ran that far, EVER. That was years ago when I was training for my first half marathon. I called Yenster to tell her and again I think it took everything in her body not to laugh. Small victories people.
Thank you Jesus for getting me through this run today. Lord I pray the pain I have in my feet, neck and head go away. Lord I pray that my running can somehow glorify You. Lord I love You so much. Thank You for today.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Get used to it.
This morning before the sun decided to join us, I was out for my 6 mile run. Start at my house, down to the gas station, back up to the house, then continue up the junction then back down to my house. Nothing out of the ordinary. Really this morning was nothing out of the ordinary at all. It was so early that my muscles, like the sun, decided not to join me on the run either. I was slow and every step felt unnatural. But for that early and with only a chocolate chip cookie in me (hey I see you rolling your eyes!) it wasn't surprising.
Something else that wasn't surprising, pain. It really doesn't matter if it is 1 mile, 12 miles or I am guessing 26 miles, there is pain. My legs ache and beg me to stop. My lungs hate me for pouring the cold morning air into them. By the end of my run, my arms cry out to put them down, after an hour of keeping them at a 90 degree angle. And the worst part about that is, if you put them down even for 2 seconds the blood flows through them so fast you regret every thought of putting them down.
Pain, it stalks you. It knows where you are, when you run, how far you have left and how fast you want to be going. It picks at you and never lets you just run. What is different now then when I first began to run is how to deal with this unrelentless stalker. Rarely does the stalker cause me to walk or cry anymore. No longer does the stalker ever actually stop me from running again, like it has in the past. Pain is my running stalker whether I like it or not.
If you replace satan with pain you would have a story of the Christian faith. I don't like talking about him or even thinking about him. He doesn't deserve or will get that glory. However, realizing he is there, stalking, you can rely on the one who does and will get the glory, Jesus. When you put your faith in Jesus, He will teach you the tools is deal with him: prayer, patience, what spiritual warfare is and above all, endurance.
What's possible with stalkers in your life? Everything when you decide to run the race called life with Jesus.
I want everything, not just somethings.
Something else that wasn't surprising, pain. It really doesn't matter if it is 1 mile, 12 miles or I am guessing 26 miles, there is pain. My legs ache and beg me to stop. My lungs hate me for pouring the cold morning air into them. By the end of my run, my arms cry out to put them down, after an hour of keeping them at a 90 degree angle. And the worst part about that is, if you put them down even for 2 seconds the blood flows through them so fast you regret every thought of putting them down.
Pain, it stalks you. It knows where you are, when you run, how far you have left and how fast you want to be going. It picks at you and never lets you just run. What is different now then when I first began to run is how to deal with this unrelentless stalker. Rarely does the stalker cause me to walk or cry anymore. No longer does the stalker ever actually stop me from running again, like it has in the past. Pain is my running stalker whether I like it or not.
If you replace satan with pain you would have a story of the Christian faith. I don't like talking about him or even thinking about him. He doesn't deserve or will get that glory. However, realizing he is there, stalking, you can rely on the one who does and will get the glory, Jesus. When you put your faith in Jesus, He will teach you the tools is deal with him: prayer, patience, what spiritual warfare is and above all, endurance.
What's possible with stalkers in your life? Everything when you decide to run the race called life with Jesus.
I want everything, not just somethings.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Just keep showing up
This weekend was full of all the things I love, friends and family. On Friday I picked up on of my best friends from Montana. My little Piggy (her name is Christina, she looks and acts nothing like a pig, but that is the nick name she has! :) ) is getting married and Meggie and I threw her a shower on Saturday. Saturday night we picked up the Lanting crew, fresh back from LA, visiting the new Lehmann family. After a full Tai meal and little celebration of Nathan's birthday Aaron and I hit the hay. I knew I needed rest, 12 miles were ahead of me the next morning, the one thing I had been dreading all week. Sunday morning came faster then I wanted. As I looked outside the trees were sideways. There is nothing I hate, weather wise, then running in the wind. You can't take a breath and the wind pushes back at you, almost mocking you as you climb hills. But it was now or never, so I layered up, kissed my Jamaican sprinter goodbye and headed out.
As I started I remembered the conversation I had with Yenster the morning before. I had called to wish her son a HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Little Oliver was already turning one. Where had a year gone? I remember clearly getting the text from Yenster saying "it was go time." And now a year later Oliver had literally changed my life and he was turning one. Wow! Yenster and I reflected on the last year. Then she asked the dreaded question: how is training going? The week before had been hard and slow. So I told her the truth: crappy. She laughed and we talked about how we feel after really long runs, not yourself, sick to your stomach for hours, slow, ect. Not once did Yenster ever say: well just don't do it. Nope, she knows the thrill of finishing something that seems so hard. Heck, she was the one that got me into this running mess in the first place years ago. No matter how hard it was, no matter how cold, she would always say: just keep running. Just keep showing up.
The Yenster is always with me at the start of every run: you showed up, now just keep running. She not only taught me that in running but in my faith. Over the years of knowing me, she saw my ups and downs of my faith. The roller coaster ride that was my relationship with Christ. And then as my senior year approached she saw me "level" out. The joys and hard times were there but not as magnified as usual. I got worried at one point: "Yenster, my faith seems so dull" I would say. Without a flinch, she would reply, "It's called maturing in your faith Shelbs." It was something that I never thought of. She continued telling me, "keep showing up, keep doing the things you know the Lord wants you to do, keep running with Jesus."
Thank you Yenster, for continually being my motivation, inspiration and teacher. You never cease to amaze me. You have truly changed my life. The Lord was so good in placing you in my life. I love you!
PS...Just in case anyone cares...I finished my 12 miles the fastest I ever have, 1 hour 48 minutes. I never once said to my Jamaican sprinter that I couldn't do it, and I even smiled at a couple runners going the opposite direction. The best news came when I got home and had a missed call from Ratty. She was back from around the world. Her heart wrenching stories of the lies people hear about Jesus broke my heart, yet her faith and hope in what was happening gave me hope. I could hear it in her voice: "Shelbs I am going to keep running and showing up with Christ so these people, around the world can see Jesus." Ratty, the Lord shines through you.
Next week, 14 miles. I have never ran that far, ever. Oh this should be a good story! :)
Friday, March 19, 2010
Just in case...
Just in case you need a little inspiration this morning to uhm....well do anything, here you go. Trust me it is worth your time. Love ya!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDnrLv6z-mM
Also, after watching realize that this story really is a story of the representation of the Lord's love for us. We are Rick Hoyt, Jesus: Dick Hoyt. When you think of it that way, you really do know that Jesus loves us. Jesus is caring us, who can do nothing without our Father in Heaven. Wow! That will get you moving this Friday morning!!
LOVE IT!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDnrLv6z-mM
Also, after watching realize that this story really is a story of the representation of the Lord's love for us. We are Rick Hoyt, Jesus: Dick Hoyt. When you think of it that way, you really do know that Jesus loves us. Jesus is caring us, who can do nothing without our Father in Heaven. Wow! That will get you moving this Friday morning!!
LOVE IT!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
I only have one thing to say today...
I HATE THE TREADMILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, now that I have gotten that off my chest I must move on.
Love you, but Jesus loves you more! What a great feeling!
Okay, now that I have gotten that off my chest I must move on.
Love you, but Jesus loves you more! What a great feeling!
Monday, March 15, 2010
There are two types of people
Every once in awhile I need a little motivation to keep running. The other day I went on a 10 mile run at 7am! It was horrible. The wind hit my face and made it impossible to breathe for half of my run. As I got home peeled off my sweating clothes and stared at my bright red body I wondered why am I doing this? It was just 10 miles, 10 miles that would have seemed a lot easier of it wouldn't have been for the wind and the fact that it was 7am on a SATURDAY! And I thought, about all the other Saturdays I have coming to me, 14 miles, 16 miles, 22 miles! Then on June 26 the ultimate Saturday will come and I will stand at a START line and have 26.2 miles ahead of me. And as I stared at my bright red body and all of these thoughts came into my head there was one thought that had a reoccurring appearance..."You can't do this." That reoccurring thought was exactly right. I cannot do this.
So this morning I thought to myself that I needed some motivation because I already registered and I would HAVE to do this. So I YouTubed "Iron Man Triathlon". Of course a million videos came up. You see if you want motivation, Iron Man is probably the ultimate place to look. Nothing is as physically and mentally demanding as Iron Man: 2 mile swim, 112 mile bike and finish off with a 26.2 mile (yes a full marathon) run. These people are CRAZY! But there is always reasons why people do this. The video starts with the simple message: "there are simply two types of people, people that say they can't and being that say they can." Hmmmm...busted I thought. After the video and tears I shed (of course I did!) I changed my thinking to yes I can do this (even if I have to crawl :) ).
But there is one thing that I simply cannot do. There is no changing my thinking, getting "in tuned to myself", blah blah blah. Nope. I know there is one thing in my life I cannot do. It is life itself. I simply cannot live life without my relationship with Christ. Life is too hard to do it without Jesus. Plus I refuse to live the mundane, mediocre, unfufilling life I used to live. I cannot live that life and will not live that life in the future. I can and did chose this personal relationship with Christ because I could not imagine eternity without life.
So yes, there are two types of people, people who say they can and can't. Now you just have to go and choose what you say can and can't to.
So this morning I thought to myself that I needed some motivation because I already registered and I would HAVE to do this. So I YouTubed "Iron Man Triathlon". Of course a million videos came up. You see if you want motivation, Iron Man is probably the ultimate place to look. Nothing is as physically and mentally demanding as Iron Man: 2 mile swim, 112 mile bike and finish off with a 26.2 mile (yes a full marathon) run. These people are CRAZY! But there is always reasons why people do this. The video starts with the simple message: "there are simply two types of people, people that say they can't and being that say they can." Hmmmm...busted I thought. After the video and tears I shed (of course I did!) I changed my thinking to yes I can do this (even if I have to crawl :) ).
But there is one thing that I simply cannot do. There is no changing my thinking, getting "in tuned to myself", blah blah blah. Nope. I know there is one thing in my life I cannot do. It is life itself. I simply cannot live life without my relationship with Christ. Life is too hard to do it without Jesus. Plus I refuse to live the mundane, mediocre, unfufilling life I used to live. I cannot live that life and will not live that life in the future. I can and did chose this personal relationship with Christ because I could not imagine eternity without life.
So yes, there are two types of people, people who say they can and can't. Now you just have to go and choose what you say can and can't to.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
AHH!
Oh I am getting so bad at this blogging thing. I used to be so up to date and well now I am not.
Lets see here..what is new? We went to Disneyland...had way too much fun and got to meet Julia Grace. Highlight of the year so far! :)
I haven't actually run in more then a week! hahaha. It makes me laugh, but then I start thinking about my 5 mile run today...in the rain...and cold. Then laughing stops, forever. I did run yesterday morning on the treadmill, just a little 3 miler. It went well, my legs had power and it didn't feel like I was sucking eggs. I would say that qualifies as a quality run!
I run 5 miles today, 3 miles tomorrow and then run 13 miles on Saturday. What am I doing? I don't just go out and run 13 miles. Who am I? 13 miles used to be the mileage I would train to, now it is just one week closer to the bigger goal. I mean I will run these 13 miles on Saturday and then the next week have to go farther??? The world doesn't work like that. I am sure of it. But for some weird reason, I am the one who decided to do this. I actually willingly agreed when Meeggggie told me we were doing this. Note to self: stop and THINK before you answer people.
On Sunday, which is usually my day off, my Jamaican sprinter, the aunts and I are running in St. Patty's Day Dash. I have never run in it but it looks fun! Pray for no rain!
Well I'm out for now....oh one more thing...I love ya!
Lets see here..what is new? We went to Disneyland...had way too much fun and got to meet Julia Grace. Highlight of the year so far! :)
I haven't actually run in more then a week! hahaha. It makes me laugh, but then I start thinking about my 5 mile run today...in the rain...and cold. Then laughing stops, forever. I did run yesterday morning on the treadmill, just a little 3 miler. It went well, my legs had power and it didn't feel like I was sucking eggs. I would say that qualifies as a quality run!
I run 5 miles today, 3 miles tomorrow and then run 13 miles on Saturday. What am I doing? I don't just go out and run 13 miles. Who am I? 13 miles used to be the mileage I would train to, now it is just one week closer to the bigger goal. I mean I will run these 13 miles on Saturday and then the next week have to go farther??? The world doesn't work like that. I am sure of it. But for some weird reason, I am the one who decided to do this. I actually willingly agreed when Meeggggie told me we were doing this. Note to self: stop and THINK before you answer people.
On Sunday, which is usually my day off, my Jamaican sprinter, the aunts and I are running in St. Patty's Day Dash. I have never run in it but it looks fun! Pray for no rain!
Well I'm out for now....oh one more thing...I love ya!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Just live your life...
It has been a while since I blogged. There has been a lot that has happened, I ran another 12 miles, ran smaller 6-8 mile runs, planned a trip to Disneyland, and went to see a breast cancer specialist. Ha, I bet you didn't see that one coming.
First, NO I do not have cancer. But because I am considered "high risk" because of my mom, grandma and great grandma all having cancer they have put me on a plan where they can monitor...well uhmmmm....my boobs! I know this really isn't funny, but I have to find humor in this whole thing.
The doctor was very sweet, never really made eye contact which kind of weirded me out. She was wearing a cross necklace; I wanted to ask her what that meant to her, but she was talking so much I couldn't get a stickin' get a word in. As she rallied off numbers, plans and preventive treatments all I could think about was that cross necklace and that I needed to go and run.
As the appointment wrapped up she looked at me a told me, "don't worry, just live your life." Just live your life? What did that mean? What did that mean to her? What does that mean to me? Am I just living my life already? As I pondered all of these questions in my head in the three seconds I had left sitting there I had a moment of clarity. Whether she meant to or not, this doctor was ultimately telling me, "trust JESUS and live your life fulfilling what He put you on this earth to do, He will take care of the rest." Who knows if that is what she actually was telling me and who knows if she has a relationship with Christ, but I do know this: I have this odd feeling that this doctor and I are going to get awful close in the next years of my life. I mean hello...not a lot of people see me without a shirt on. So with that fact I already feel like we are BFF, so next time I see her I am going to ask her about the cross around her neck. I am going to "just live my life" spreading Christ's great message, because that is what I was put on this earth to do. Wow, Christ is quite amazing don't you think? He shows up when least expected.
I love you Jesus, thank You for reminding me how much I need You and how in control You are.
Side note: no running for the next couple days...unless of course you count running from Splash Mountain to the corn dog stand, then yes...lots of running will take place.
First, NO I do not have cancer. But because I am considered "high risk" because of my mom, grandma and great grandma all having cancer they have put me on a plan where they can monitor...well uhmmmm....my boobs! I know this really isn't funny, but I have to find humor in this whole thing.
The doctor was very sweet, never really made eye contact which kind of weirded me out. She was wearing a cross necklace; I wanted to ask her what that meant to her, but she was talking so much I couldn't get a stickin' get a word in. As she rallied off numbers, plans and preventive treatments all I could think about was that cross necklace and that I needed to go and run.
As the appointment wrapped up she looked at me a told me, "don't worry, just live your life." Just live your life? What did that mean? What did that mean to her? What does that mean to me? Am I just living my life already? As I pondered all of these questions in my head in the three seconds I had left sitting there I had a moment of clarity. Whether she meant to or not, this doctor was ultimately telling me, "trust JESUS and live your life fulfilling what He put you on this earth to do, He will take care of the rest." Who knows if that is what she actually was telling me and who knows if she has a relationship with Christ, but I do know this: I have this odd feeling that this doctor and I are going to get awful close in the next years of my life. I mean hello...not a lot of people see me without a shirt on. So with that fact I already feel like we are BFF, so next time I see her I am going to ask her about the cross around her neck. I am going to "just live my life" spreading Christ's great message, because that is what I was put on this earth to do. Wow, Christ is quite amazing don't you think? He shows up when least expected.
I love you Jesus, thank You for reminding me how much I need You and how in control You are.
Side note: no running for the next couple days...unless of course you count running from Splash Mountain to the corn dog stand, then yes...lots of running will take place.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)