Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive. And an update...

I will get to who has made my heart come alive....but first let me let you in on what my birthday looked like. I like plans, schedules...and lots of them. I like these so much, that it is a fault of mine, sometimes an idol. What I can say is that my perfectly planned birthday went all crazy haywire and proved to me yet again, just like many times in my life, that I have to trust in Jesus' plan. Here is what Friday and Saturday looked like:

7am: Alarm goes off, meet Aunt Jenny outside to walk to the bakery for a birthday treat!

8am: Return from bakery, chat with AA (who has taken the day off) and get ready to head to the doctors.
Let's take a break here and explain why I was going to the doctors...especially on my birthday. For the last three weeks I have been having chest pain, but more I couldn't run without being completely winded, I couldn't walk up stairs without feeling like I was going to pass out, and I couldn't ramble very quickly, like I often do, without feeling lightheaded. So what was first diagnosed as a chest cold (given antibiotics) turned out to not be when after taking the meds, they didn't work. So I figured I would go to the doctor...they would tell me what was actually wrong, prescribe me some new meds and I would be on my way in 20 minutes. So with that let the schedule continue

845am: Arrive at doctor, meet new doctor, Dr. Hope Rise.

855am: After joking that no one should be at the doc on their birthday and a battery of questions about my health, how I was feeling, ect I saw the doctor get more and more puzzled.

9am: Doctor has me run the stairs so she can check my oxygen level...maybe that is the problem she says.

902am: Get done running the stairs...want to pass out, but oxygen level comes back a-okay. Hmm still stumped.

920am: Chest xray time.

930am: Look at xray with doctor to see if I have a collapsed lung...maybe that could be the problem. Look at xray...no collapsed lung. Hmmm...still confused.

935am: Blood work time

955am: Sent home with the doc calling me if something is wrong.

1030am: Have a gift certificate to get a mani/pedi....it's nail time!

1130am: Come home to a clean bathroom, new lights and a fixed toilet...thanks AA!!

12pm: Lunch time at our fav sushi place downtown...yum yum!! Tell AA how excited I am to go to Ikea with Meg and SJ later that day...love IKEA!

2pm: Pulling into our parking spot at home to drop off AA so I can go pick up Meg and SJ when my phone rings. Its the nurse telling us to go straight to First Hill to get a CT scan. AA starts driving there before we even get the directions.

215pm: Call Meg, crying telling her we don't know what's wrong and I don't think we can go to Ikea anymore...but that I would see her that night for din and bowling!

245pm: Get checked in at scan place

3pm: Get all changed and ready to scan. They have to put in an IV to pump me full of dye for the scan. This would now be the second time of the day I have been stuck. The scan guy is really nice and funny. He let's AA come back with me and let's him see the scans.

330pm: All done, get dressed and in waiting room waiting to hear that I am all good to go. Then some lady comes out and says the doctor will be calling me shortly, I look at my phone, she is calling me right then. Answer, hear her say something about the Emergency Room, look to find AA, but he is already be rushed to go get the car.

332pm: Sit down in the first chair I can find, try to listen, but I have already started crying, I don't hear anything she says. Give the phone to AA once he gets back. He talks to the doctor, who tells him she is calling the ER doctor right now and to get their quickly.

345pm: Arrive at Emergency Room, still crying, not knowing exactly what's going on.

4pm: Get officially checked in, AA calls my dad, cancels the party for that night and let's other fam know what's going on. The nurse who checked me in was one of the nicest people I have ever met. She says they are putting me to the top of the list.

402pm: Taken back, changed into hospital gown and finally a nurse tells me what's going on, in words I can understand "You have four blood clots in your lungs...this could have been really really bad."

405pm: Third poke of the day...an IV again. She tries to get it anywhere but the crock of my arm. She spends a while on it...hurts like no other! Finally decides she has to do it in the crock...AWESOME...poke number 4!

430pm: Taken to different room, given new nurses. All very very nice. The come in, do some vitals and other things I can't remember. I just remember thinking...don't cry, be as nice as you can...maybe even try to crack a joke.

445pm: Doctor comes in. He is young, serious, but sweet. He finally starts to explain in more detail what is going on and the likely culprit of all of this....birth control pills.
Let me take another break here and say this: the choice to take BC pills is up the person and what they feel like God is telling them to do. We never felt like God was telling us to not take BC pills, but knowing what we know now and after much prayer we have decided that we will no longer be taking BC pills. It is just not worth it and there are other options. Hopefully, we will find out that that was the problem and now that we are not taking it, I will be fine for the rest of my life. Okay now I will step off my soap box and continue the story...

5pm: After doc tells me I will be on blood thinners for the next 3-6 month and that for the first 10 days I will be on twice daily shots to bridge the gap between taking the oral medications, the nurse comes in to give me my first shot...in the stomach. Sweet. So freaking awesome. She is nice though and after pulling up my shirt, says something about no fat on my belly to be able to pinch (okay...she is awesome! She is a keeper I think to myself!) she pulls up my fat and JAM, sticks me again...what is this the 5th time now?? Oh and it burns...that one hurt!

6pm: After secretly making some calls and texts (weren't supposed to use our phones) AA has officially become my PR master and let people know and I can feel the prayers they are sending. Finally get moved up to my "room" where I would stay the night so they can monitor me.

610pm: I have to share a room with a VERY elderly lady, who isn't doing very well. We found found she fractured her hip...OUCH! We were blessed with the window side though, and let me tell you...we had a great view.

625pm: New nurse comes in. She is one of the nurses who is seemingly jacked up on coffee...ALL THE TIME. But she is nice and very smiley. She comes in and looks surprised that I am smiling and joking with AA. She then proceeds to tell me that I should be lucky to be alive and that she has never seen a case this bad. You always hear that on TV but when it is actually said to you it is very surreal. I start to cry...of course. More vitals taken, more introduction of more nurses, more bags of hydration hooked up to me.

725pm: AA tells me Chris and Meg are coming. Probably the best news I had heard all day. I felt horrible they were using their babysitting night to visit me in the hospital but it was so nice to have the four of us together...just to maybe seem normal.

755pm: Meg and Chris get to the hospital with PITA PIT!!!!! Thank you Jesus for Pita Pit...it reminds me of simpler times in college when all we had to worry about was passing a class and making sure we woke up in time to get to Tuesday prayer.

8pm: I hear someone come into the room...a nurse probably....the guy turns the corner....MY DAD! With a birthday balloon and Green Bay Packer cupcakes...something about being out of birthday and valentines day cupcakes. Sweet dad.

10pm: Everyone heads home and I silently thank God for them. They made me, for two hours feel normal again. They loved me when I needed it most. Thank you Jesus for those people. I also thank God for all the people who who were praying for us and who had called and texted.

11pm: AA decided to head home, we had both made the decision that we needed at least one of us to be in working order the next day.

1130pm: After watching the news for a little I decided to try to hit the hay. My arm is hurting so bad because of the IV but I try.

1210am: Still not asleep, arm killing me. Take out my pony tail (A HORRIBLE MISTAKE!) close my eyes again.

105: Still not asleep and my IV thing is beeping. Call nurse, she recharges it, try to go asleep again.

2am: Wake up

3am: Wake up, look at my IV bag...it's full. When did that happen? It was almost empty. Ugh.

4am: Wake up

5am: Wake up and say to myself, "screw it!" Move my bed to an upright position, making sure my arm stays straight, head to the potty, with my IV stand thingy. Feel like I am 90.

502am: Get done with the potty, washing my hands, look in the mirror...AKKKK! I look horrible. I mean the nastiest of the nasty. My hair is so oily ( I hadn't taken a shower yet on Friday...I had planned on taking it before din), my face a mess, and my breath RANK! I guess that's what happens with no face wash and toothbrush. I try to put my hair in a pony, but when you can't bend your arm it is pretty much impossible.

6am: Nurse comes in, say good morning, check vitals and I hope AA gets there soon.

710am: AA comes! With Starbucks! And a birthday present! First thing I ask him to do is put my hair in a pony. "for better or worse" I think to myself. He explains the oatmeal is nasty and that I should just order it from the hospital. So I do, as I suck down my coffee. I open the birthday present...a subscription to Runnersworld. I start to cry. I should have been excited but running the Rock in Roll Dallas is still up for question, with many different nurses and doctors saying a lot of different things. But I am so glad that AA is there I wipe those tears away and thank him. We decide if we get out of there anytime before 10am we will still go to Portland and the game.

845am: Doc finally comes in. Scares the crap out of me and tells me no running Rock n Roll, but that I should talk to my primary care doc (Dr. Rise). He explains all the medication, the effects and again says I should be happy this didn't turn out fatally.

855am: Doc leaves and I start to cry again. AA knows why I am crying and makes sure I know it is okay and talks about God's plan. It makes me feel better. Doc comes in again and see's me crying. He says he is sorry.

1015am: No discharge nurse yet. We make the final call...no PDX and that we would be watching the Cougs from home that night. I start to cry again. Now I am so tired I could cry at anything.

11am: Discharge nurse comes in. Her name is Sara. She is soooo sweet. We chat about everything and teaches AA how to give my shots. So with the shot in AA's hands I lift up my shirt and have my husband squeeze my fat (awesome) to get poked yet again. I feel the poke, Ouch! Then all of a sudden AA is saying sorry and the nurse is laughing....huh? What is going on? The I look down and AA hadn't stuck me hard enough! UGH! We all laugh, because it really is funny. AA tries again...SUCCESS! It burns...like a lot.

1130am: They discharge me, I get dressed in sweats AA brought and we are headed to the pharmacy to get my meds and get the heck out of dodge!

1135am: In the elevator I tell AA I am hungry. "Me too," he responds.

1136am: Get to the pharmacy. They tell us it will be 30-40 minutes until the meds are ready. All of a sudden I can barely breathe and I am light headed. My stomach feels like it is eating my whole body. AA sits me down, and runs to the vending machine. Snickers and water. Shaking I shovel it down, willing myself to feel better so I don't have to go back up there. AA runs again to get trail mix. After 20 minutes I start to feel better. Thank you Jesus.

12am: In the car...headed home. The afternoon was full of nothing, other then a much needed shower, a couple more bday presents, watching the huskies lose, a quick nap and watching the Cougs pull one out.

Lessons learned:
1. Jesus is good...so good. So good that there are no words for how good He is.
2. I have the best fam, husband and friends.
3. Know what is going in my body and the side effects
4. Go to the doc when you know something is wrong.
5. God is good...oh wait I already said that....it just deserve another one.

Well I just wrote you a novel. I will keep you posted on how I am feeling and what lies ahead in my future. But for the most part, it is back to "normal" life.

So the answer to the question of who has made my heart come alive (or stay alive) is no question at all for me. God. He has again reminded me that He has a plan for my life, that He loves me and to trust Him. Everyday He teaches me something knew and I love him more and more. He makes my heart come alive everyday. Thank you Jesus.

Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.

Well well well....the last two days have been some of the scariest, weirdest, eye opening but blessed days of my life. My birthday wasn't exactly what I had planned but let's just say I am really thankful to just be alive. More on this later, when I have energy to write (let me tell you...it's a dozy) but what I can say right now is Jesus is good, and we know now why I wasn't able to breathe while running.

But for today's post...my fav. outfit! That was hard, I feel like my fav. outfit changes with what my mood is and what it looks like outside. So I am giving you two of my fav. outfits...one normal and one running!

Normal outfit: H&M tights, Nord Rack leggings, Jessica Simpson boots, Target white tank, Nord boyfriend tee, Nord black cardi thingy (technical term), black scarf from Siena, new necklace from Nord and my famous $8 watch (pretend it is actually on in this picture)!

I love, love, love this outfit right now because the boots keep me warm, you don't see skin, but I still feel put together and I can pretty much wear it anywhere.

Running outfit: Nike tempo running shorts, black Target running tank, KB socks, OLD Nike runners (this pic was taken two summers ago...yes I still wear the shorts, tank and hat!) and Super Jock n Jill hat.

I love this outfit almost solely because when I wear it I know it is HOT HOT HOT outside! So basically I get to wear this running outfit once a year. I can't wear the tank for longer then 5 miles though...underarm chaffing...no good.

Thank you Jesus for the doctors, nurses and people that took care of me for the last couple days. Thank you Jesus for making your presence known and controlling the situation. Thank you for our dear visitors last night, they made it all bearable. Lord as I continue on this journey I pray you make your plan known and that I have a content heart with the path I am following you on. I love you Jesus!

Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?

Happy Friday! Thank you Jesus for Friday! My Jamaican Sprinter and I took the day off today, it's only 8:30am and I know it is going to be a great day!

I ran yesterday on the dreadmill, I mean treadmill and only had to stop a couple times to catch my breathe. This whole breathing things is really wigging me out. I am praying that by the time we get back from PDX this weekend I will be a whole new woman...or a whole woman I used to be.

Back to the project! This question was an easy one. The minute I saw it I knew who I would say. So without further a due, the person that inspires my beauty is... (drum roll please....) THE AUNTS!

So many of you know about the aunts. They have been a critical part of my childhood, young adult life and now adult life. When my mom died these women rallied around Katie and I and made sure we knew we were loved and taken care of.

These women are moms, marathoners, triathletes, bicyclists, expert travelers, funny, smart, kind hearted, sympathetic, loving, lover's of Jesus and most of all beautiful. Every time I am with them, they show me a a different view of beauty and I am forever greatful for that. They are each uniquely different and love me each differently which I love!

Thank you aunts for inspiring all types of beauty and reminding me that the most important beauty is not what is on the outside by from the heart! I love you!

Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?

I was thinking about this question since I started this challenge. I wasn't sure what about me, made me uniquely me? When I first started thinking, I was bringing up all of the flaws I see in my personality and body, but then I realized this project is not about flaws but about beauty. So I started over...started thinking how I was different then others around me. Then this morning, somewhere between visiting with the Starbs girl and almost getting run over my a semi truck on the bridge (a daily occurrence) it came to me!

What makes me uniquely me is my passion for sports. I am, and have been since a very young age, fascinated by how sports imitates life. I love how people can rise from the depths of their life through sports. I love how people come to Jesus and follow Jesus through sports. I love the unique feeling of being in a group of people, whether it be running with people or cheering for the same team that you get. I am girl to the core. I love to dress up, I wear makeup, I watch Grey's Anatomy, I read Self, I don't really like to get dirty and I LOVE to bake. So for people who are going to make a snap judgement about me, probably wouldn't guess that I wake up every Saturday morning at 7am in the fall to watch ESPN Gameday, or how the perfect birthday is watching the Cougs, or that I love to salt when I run. I like that my husband and I have this in common. Jesus has used sports in my life in more ways then one, and I thank Him so much for that.

Thank you Lord, for making me uniquely me. You have clearly designed me to be a part of your story and have loved me everyday, every hour and every minute. Thank you Jesus!

Running note....ran yesterday on the treadmill, only had to stop once because I felt like my legs were 5 inches long, and that my arms were disconnected from my body. Weird....very weird. I stopped took a couple big breaths and then was fine. Does this happen to anyone else? If it doesn't will you just lie and tell me it does so I don't feel WEIRD! :) Thanks! Running outside today...please rain go away!

Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?

So here we go! Day one! I am pumped...I am ready....I am scared! Gosh, I should be a motivational speaker. :) What I am most scared of is that I don't know if I am going to do this right, but I guess there is no doing this "right." Right?

What does beauty mean to me? The first thing that comes to mind, is that beauty to me is anything the Lord has made. It is clear the things, people and places that He has designed, He has designed in His beauty. And to me, there is nothing more beautiful then that. There are also things, that when I get to experience them, I am overcome with their beauty:

-fresh cut hot pink Gerber daisies
-a bald head on a fighting cancer patient
-Starbucks. Period.
-SJ, Julia Grace, Oli and the mommas they belong to
-hand written notes from my Jamaican Sprinter
-watching someone finish a race for the first time
-the Coug symbol
-my sister
-Alki beach on a HOT day
-someone right after they have accepted Jesus
-freshly vacuumed floors (I know, stupid)
-a new running blister (I know, gross)

And really as I sit here the list could go on and on. I pray that beauty doesn't mean to me what the world thinks of as beauty, but what our King thinks of as beauty. It is something I struggle with everyday. What does beauty mean to you?

On a running note...half marathon training is still plugging along. I am still freaking out on the treadmill which is really annoying because if you haven't noticed, it is FREEZING out and I just can't get myself out there by myself. I will hop on my old friend the treadmill yet again today, I will let you know how it goes.

On another note...thanks to Megs, I finally know how to use Google Reader. Thank you Meg for helping me be a part of this century. :)

One more...you know what I don't think is beautiful? If you watched Oprah yesterday, you know what I am thinking. If you didn't, DON'T!

New Project!

So I have been very, I mean VERY reluctant to do this project. The topic makes me squirm when I think about having to talk about myself and the topic. Well, let me give you a little background before I go off ranting. I have made a new friend this year and I love reading her blog! She started doing this project a little over a week ago and I have been awestruck with her writing and how she has approached this topic. I asked for her permission to "copy" her and of course, because she is so sweet, she said yes. I asked her, though I was secretly hoping she would say no so I wouldn't have to do it. The project is called "Project 31" and it is for celebrating our God given beauty and the God given beauty of others around us. It is all based off of the Proverbs 31 Woman, which is a passage that is so very close to my heart. Often when I feel like I am lost in this world I turn to that passage to see the woman God created all of us women to be. So after much consideration and prayer I have decided to take this thing and run with it. I am excited to see what God will teach me about the beauty He has designed and not the beauty the world has for us. This is in no means replacing my lessons learned while running, but merely adding to it, which means you still get the pleasure of hearing all about sweat, snot, muscle cramps, the highs and the lows of running and of course my personal favorite running wedgies. Without further adu here is the list! OH PS....is you are reading this and I read your blog please take part!! :)

THE LIST:
Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!

Oh.my.wind.

As some of you know, confidence in running (and maybe some other things) have been lacking. Mostly because I have been sick. But I have been feeling a lot better, so AA and I set out to run an easy peasy 5 miles yesterday after church and our meetings. Well let me tell you one thing people...this run was neither easy nor peasy (whatever that means). We knew the minute we got down to Alki that this was going to be hard. The water was Arctic blue and to say there were white caps would be an understatement. The wind was whipping through there stronger then I have ever seen it. But we put out nose to the ground and set off. It was hard to catch our breath and even get warm. It was 30 degrees with a 25 mph head wind. Lovely. We got to a mile and a half and we decided to turn around and have the wind at our backs. Oh wow! What a difference. We got back to our start point but still had 2 miles to go. We thought if we would go off the water into the neighborhood that would be better. NOT! We cruised for a mile and then turned around and the wind was worse then before. At one point I stopped and bent down because it was just way to cold. AA of course was an amazing man and encouraged me. He said he is taking advantage of me not being in my top form, "come on Shelby, keep going", "no it's okay Shelby we can go slower." Ha! I love it!

Well we finally finished, my head felt like it was going to explode, I mean literally, eyes popping out of my head. We both decided that was one of the dumbest things we have done in a long time. Got home, took a shower, finally warmed up to a normal temp, made some dinner, had my dad, Liesl and Nick over and then watched the COUGS kick some Husky butt! YAY! Sounds like a pretty awesome night to me!

I might be starting a new series on here; key word maybe. So keep your eyes out for that! For now let me remind you that I love ya, but Jesus loves you more!!