I will get to who has made my heart come alive....but first let me let you in on what my birthday looked like. I like plans, schedules...and lots of them. I like these so much, that it is a fault of mine, sometimes an idol. What I can say is that my perfectly planned birthday went all crazy haywire and proved to me yet again, just like many times in my life, that I have to trust in Jesus' plan. Here is what Friday and Saturday looked like:
7am: Alarm goes off, meet Aunt Jenny outside to walk to the bakery for a birthday treat!
8am: Return from bakery, chat with AA (who has taken the day off) and get ready to head to the doctors.
Let's take a break here and explain why I was going to the doctors...especially on my birthday. For the last three weeks I have been having chest pain, but more I couldn't run without being completely winded, I couldn't walk up stairs without feeling like I was going to pass out, and I couldn't ramble very quickly, like I often do, without feeling lightheaded. So what was first diagnosed as a chest cold (given antibiotics) turned out to not be when after taking the meds, they didn't work. So I figured I would go to the doctor...they would tell me what was actually wrong, prescribe me some new meds and I would be on my way in 20 minutes. So with that let the schedule continue
845am: Arrive at doctor, meet new doctor, Dr. Hope Rise.
855am: After joking that no one should be at the doc on their birthday and a battery of questions about my health, how I was feeling, ect I saw the doctor get more and more puzzled.
9am: Doctor has me run the stairs so she can check my oxygen level...maybe that is the problem she says.
902am: Get done running the stairs...want to pass out, but oxygen level comes back a-okay. Hmm still stumped.
920am: Chest xray time.
930am: Look at xray with doctor to see if I have a collapsed lung...maybe that could be the problem. Look at xray...no collapsed lung. Hmmm...still confused.
935am: Blood work time
955am: Sent home with the doc calling me if something is wrong.
1030am: Have a gift certificate to get a mani/pedi....it's nail time!
1130am: Come home to a clean bathroom, new lights and a fixed toilet...thanks AA!!
12pm: Lunch time at our fav sushi place downtown...yum yum!! Tell AA how excited I am to go to Ikea with Meg and SJ later that day...love IKEA!
2pm: Pulling into our parking spot at home to drop off AA so I can go pick up Meg and SJ when my phone rings. Its the nurse telling us to go straight to First Hill to get a CT scan. AA starts driving there before we even get the directions.
215pm: Call Meg, crying telling her we don't know what's wrong and I don't think we can go to Ikea anymore...but that I would see her that night for din and bowling!
245pm: Get checked in at scan place
3pm: Get all changed and ready to scan. They have to put in an IV to pump me full of dye for the scan. This would now be the second time of the day I have been stuck. The scan guy is really nice and funny. He let's AA come back with me and let's him see the scans.
330pm: All done, get dressed and in waiting room waiting to hear that I am all good to go. Then some lady comes out and says the doctor will be calling me shortly, I look at my phone, she is calling me right then. Answer, hear her say something about the Emergency Room, look to find AA, but he is already be rushed to go get the car.
332pm: Sit down in the first chair I can find, try to listen, but I have already started crying, I don't hear anything she says. Give the phone to AA once he gets back. He talks to the doctor, who tells him she is calling the ER doctor right now and to get their quickly.
345pm: Arrive at Emergency Room, still crying, not knowing exactly what's going on.
4pm: Get officially checked in, AA calls my dad, cancels the party for that night and let's other fam know what's going on. The nurse who checked me in was one of the nicest people I have ever met. She says they are putting me to the top of the list.
402pm: Taken back, changed into hospital gown and finally a nurse tells me what's going on, in words I can understand "You have four blood clots in your lungs...this could have been really really bad."
405pm: Third poke of the day...an IV again. She tries to get it anywhere but the crock of my arm. She spends a while on it...hurts like no other! Finally decides she has to do it in the crock...AWESOME...poke number 4!
430pm: Taken to different room, given new nurses. All very very nice. The come in, do some vitals and other things I can't remember. I just remember thinking...don't cry, be as nice as you can...maybe even try to crack a joke.
445pm: Doctor comes in. He is young, serious, but sweet. He finally starts to explain in more detail what is going on and the likely culprit of all of this....birth control pills.
Let me take another break here and say this: the choice to take BC pills is up the person and what they feel like God is telling them to do. We never felt like God was telling us to not take BC pills, but knowing what we know now and after much prayer we have decided that we will no longer be taking BC pills. It is just not worth it and there are other options. Hopefully, we will find out that that was the problem and now that we are not taking it, I will be fine for the rest of my life. Okay now I will step off my soap box and continue the story...
5pm: After doc tells me I will be on blood thinners for the next 3-6 month and that for the first 10 days I will be on twice daily shots to bridge the gap between taking the oral medications, the nurse comes in to give me my first shot...in the stomach. Sweet. So freaking awesome. She is nice though and after pulling up my shirt, says something about no fat on my belly to be able to pinch (okay...she is awesome! She is a keeper I think to myself!) she pulls up my fat and JAM, sticks me again...what is this the 5th time now?? Oh and it burns...that one hurt!
6pm: After secretly making some calls and texts (weren't supposed to use our phones) AA has officially become my PR master and let people know and I can feel the prayers they are sending. Finally get moved up to my "room" where I would stay the night so they can monitor me.
610pm: I have to share a room with a VERY elderly lady, who isn't doing very well. We found found she fractured her hip...OUCH! We were blessed with the window side though, and let me tell you...we had a great view.
625pm: New nurse comes in. She is one of the nurses who is seemingly jacked up on coffee...ALL THE TIME. But she is nice and very smiley. She comes in and looks surprised that I am smiling and joking with AA. She then proceeds to tell me that I should be lucky to be alive and that she has never seen a case this bad. You always hear that on TV but when it is actually said to you it is very surreal. I start to cry...of course. More vitals taken, more introduction of more nurses, more bags of hydration hooked up to me.
725pm: AA tells me Chris and Meg are coming. Probably the best news I had heard all day. I felt horrible they were using their babysitting night to visit me in the hospital but it was so nice to have the four of us together...just to maybe seem normal.
755pm: Meg and Chris get to the hospital with PITA PIT!!!!! Thank you Jesus for Pita Pit...it reminds me of simpler times in college when all we had to worry about was passing a class and making sure we woke up in time to get to Tuesday prayer.
8pm: I hear someone come into the room...a nurse probably....the guy turns the corner....MY DAD! With a birthday balloon and Green Bay Packer cupcakes...something about being out of birthday and valentines day cupcakes. Sweet dad.
10pm: Everyone heads home and I silently thank God for them. They made me, for two hours feel normal again. They loved me when I needed it most. Thank you Jesus for those people. I also thank God for all the people who who were praying for us and who had called and texted.
11pm: AA decided to head home, we had both made the decision that we needed at least one of us to be in working order the next day.
1130pm: After watching the news for a little I decided to try to hit the hay. My arm is hurting so bad because of the IV but I try.
1210am: Still not asleep, arm killing me. Take out my pony tail (A HORRIBLE MISTAKE!) close my eyes again.
105: Still not asleep and my IV thing is beeping. Call nurse, she recharges it, try to go asleep again.
2am: Wake up
3am: Wake up, look at my IV bag...it's full. When did that happen? It was almost empty. Ugh.
4am: Wake up
5am: Wake up and say to myself, "screw it!" Move my bed to an upright position, making sure my arm stays straight, head to the potty, with my IV stand thingy. Feel like I am 90.
502am: Get done with the potty, washing my hands, look in the mirror...AKKKK! I look horrible. I mean the nastiest of the nasty. My hair is so oily ( I hadn't taken a shower yet on Friday...I had planned on taking it before din), my face a mess, and my breath RANK! I guess that's what happens with no face wash and toothbrush. I try to put my hair in a pony, but when you can't bend your arm it is pretty much impossible.
6am: Nurse comes in, say good morning, check vitals and I hope AA gets there soon.
710am: AA comes! With Starbucks! And a birthday present! First thing I ask him to do is put my hair in a pony. "for better or worse" I think to myself. He explains the oatmeal is nasty and that I should just order it from the hospital. So I do, as I suck down my coffee. I open the birthday present...a subscription to Runnersworld. I start to cry. I should have been excited but running the Rock in Roll Dallas is still up for question, with many different nurses and doctors saying a lot of different things. But I am so glad that AA is there I wipe those tears away and thank him. We decide if we get out of there anytime before 10am we will still go to Portland and the game.
845am: Doc finally comes in. Scares the crap out of me and tells me no running Rock n Roll, but that I should talk to my primary care doc (Dr. Rise). He explains all the medication, the effects and again says I should be happy this didn't turn out fatally.
855am: Doc leaves and I start to cry again. AA knows why I am crying and makes sure I know it is okay and talks about God's plan. It makes me feel better. Doc comes in again and see's me crying. He says he is sorry.
1015am: No discharge nurse yet. We make the final call...no PDX and that we would be watching the Cougs from home that night. I start to cry again. Now I am so tired I could cry at anything.
11am: Discharge nurse comes in. Her name is Sara. She is soooo sweet. We chat about everything and teaches AA how to give my shots. So with the shot in AA's hands I lift up my shirt and have my husband squeeze my fat (awesome) to get poked yet again. I feel the poke, Ouch! Then all of a sudden AA is saying sorry and the nurse is laughing....huh? What is going on? The I look down and AA hadn't stuck me hard enough! UGH! We all laugh, because it really is funny. AA tries again...SUCCESS! It burns...like a lot.
1130am: They discharge me, I get dressed in sweats AA brought and we are headed to the pharmacy to get my meds and get the heck out of dodge!
1135am: In the elevator I tell AA I am hungry. "Me too," he responds.
1136am: Get to the pharmacy. They tell us it will be 30-40 minutes until the meds are ready. All of a sudden I can barely breathe and I am light headed. My stomach feels like it is eating my whole body. AA sits me down, and runs to the vending machine. Snickers and water. Shaking I shovel it down, willing myself to feel better so I don't have to go back up there. AA runs again to get trail mix. After 20 minutes I start to feel better. Thank you Jesus.
12am: In the car...headed home. The afternoon was full of nothing, other then a much needed shower, a couple more bday presents, watching the huskies lose, a quick nap and watching the Cougs pull one out.
1. Jesus is good...so good. So good that there are no words for how good He is.
2. I have the best fam, husband and friends.
3. Know what is going in my body and the side effects
4. Go to the doc when you know something is wrong.
5. God is good...oh wait I already said that....it just deserve another one.
Well I just wrote you a novel. I will keep you posted on how I am feeling and what lies ahead in my future. But for the most part, it is back to "normal" life.
So the answer to the question of who has made my heart come alive (or stay alive) is no question at all for me. God. He has again reminded me that He has a plan for my life, that He loves me and to trust Him. Everyday He teaches me something knew and I love him more and more. He makes my heart come alive everyday. Thank you Jesus.