Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy love day! And days 12-13 of the Beauty Challenge!

Hmmm, love. A beautiful thing. The Jamaican Sprinter doesn't like Valentine's Day much, and I get it...shouldn't everyday be kind of like Valentine's day? But he appeased me and had a great surprise this morning of treats and flowers. I remember the minute I first saw him, and then the minute I saw him the second time. I remember a lot from the beginning of our relationship. I play it out in my head over and over again because they are such sweet memories that the Lord has helped me remember. There were really hard times in our dating life when I thought "we just aren't going to make it." But then I can clearly remember the day when that no longer was in my thought process. Times were still hard, but we were going to make it or I was going to die trying.

My JS, you are my best friend and the love of my life. Thank you for being caring, selfless, making me laugh and most importantly a servant of the Lord. You never cease to amaze me. You have proven that through better and worse, sickness and health that you are my man. Thank you for being my Jamaican Sprinter.

Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.

Where to start huh? I try not to think about what wears me out because it usually wears me out more. :) But I would say the one thing that wears me out is the people pleasing. I always try to make everyone around me happy and make sure their needs are met. I love doing this...I really do, but sometimes it gets overwhelming and there is a point when I feel like everything I do just isn't good enough for this person or that person.

The one thing that keeps me buoyant when I feel like I am sinking is that in all truth I have an audience of One. I have no one else I need to please but my Savior. He already knows I am broken and that is why He came to this earth to die for my sins. Jesus makes all things possible, even being a woman in this, at times, troubling world.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
There are A LOT of things that I would change about myself, but because it is "love day" I have been thinking a lot about AA. The thing I would like to change is to minister better to him. I can put on a happy face and be joyful around others all day long but the minute that door shuts at home I can be an "angry monster", crying my eyes out or just down right rude. I don't want to be this. I really, really, really don't want to be like this. And I know what some of you are thinking, "thank goodness you have a man that you can do that in front of." And trust me I get it. But I want the best me to be available to him. I want to share Jesus' joy and love with him like I do with others. I have been praying through this a lot and the good news is that I can almost always realize and see when I am doing this. I am no longer doing this out of ignorance. The challenging news is that I need to fix the problem itself.

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